Erinn's ramblings

We'll see if I (Erinn) actually hit "enter" on this baby......... This blogging is going to involve a learning curve for me. You see, it's all so much better in my mind. I'll try not to think and just write about life here as naturally as I can, Ok? Just had to get that off my chest. So, I know I speak for both Jason and myself when I say that we don't really want this to read like some brag-fest about all the glorious things we are seeing and doing- it wouldn't be the complete picture and it would be rather dull, so we'll try to let you know what we're up to, both inwardly and outwardly. I confess that I tend to feel a tinge of envy with most blogs I read. Instead of thinking, "wow, great idea, I'm so inspired." I just think "wow, how sad for them that they need to broadcast that to the world to feel validated." No, just kidding. I really think, "wow, I'm kind of wasting away here reading about another person's life while I DO NOTHING." Yeah, so why jump on board the train? Well, I really just miss all of you and wish that I could catch up with you more often, but once I've written one catch-up letter, I'm sort of done for the week. Lame, I know. This will hopefully get me reflecting and documenting and, maybe, hearing from some of you lovelies.

So some highlights so far:

Feeling cool when I figured out the tube system (yes, this is an ongoing source of satisfaction for me); walking way more than usual every day and feeling lighter for it (though this is merely a feeling I think); wearing boots and not feeling like a complete dork in them; feeling my intellect piqued (sometimes it gets a bit sleepy) -- in fact, today, I found myself with Oliver on one knee rifling through pens and pencils (his favorite London pasttime), everyone else occupied, and I really wanted to read more about King Henry VIII and Elizabeth I while I had this one spare moment (I think a couple months ago I would have liked to think that was how my internal world was geared, but it would have been a hope vs. a reality), anyway, there's some growth there; enjoying art more, seeing Billy Elliot and Hamlet- spellbinding, left me speechless!!; seeing Brendan man-up and carry the stroller up and down stairs at the tube station; seeing Oliver learn to walk-sheesh, the Brits were starting to wonder?; snuggling up with my lap-top and watching British movies; seeing my kids (especially B) picking up and reading some wonderful books about English history and customs (he's more of a fiction junkie); seeing both kids create the best art of their lives (such long lives!) by just imitating what they see everywhere they go and smirking as they name some fancy pants artist they know something about; seeing Lily pal around with the college girls on our trip to Oxford; hearing a cute English girl call Oliver a "cheeky little tot"; hanging out with some beautiful and wonderful Long Beach friends who came to visit; and, finally, the wonderful treat of being with my mom, brother and now my in-laws while in this not so warm and fuzzy place.

Some of the lowlights:

Buying way toooooo many groceries at these little markets and looking like a fool as they try to check me out, bag me up and send me off; sometimes stressful merging moments on the tube (though this hasn't been too big of a deal, even with all 3 kids); trying to get the older kids to not look like complete spazzes while we walk to the tube or elsewhere (they are a little like caged animals being set free on the world, after their 1/2 day of school); some abiding guilt that the kids have no friends and no real activities; feeling like a caged animal myself sometimes- struggling with how to refuel and find some space, literally and figuratively; sleeping in a room with teething Oliver- a room with the squeakiest door and bed we've ever had; sometimes just feeling a little sick of the straight man face everyone seems to wear around here (they need to get those hips movin'- just a little salsa!); the invisible feeling of being a foreigner abroad, one that isn't "quite" in on all the secret cultural norms and behaviors; wondering if my American-ness is being looked down upon; being told from the man with the icy stare (downstairs) that we are, in fact, "too noisy;" the wearing off of the "play-money" effect of British currency -- now these bills look just as real and scary as the American bills do when I hand them off to someone.

Ok, clearly I could go on and on and who wants to read epic blog entries. I apologize. I'm just a beginner here. Lots of love to all of you!

Hope to hear from some of you,
Erinn